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Birmingham AL Collaborative Divorce Law Blog

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Gratitude Series Week 2: Better Off Now: Six Ways to be Grateful After Divorce

When you divorce, it’s often hard to see the good in anything. Even when you know it’s “for the best” in the long-run, losing your most intimate relationship shifts the ground under your feet. If your spouse is the one who initiated the split, you may have to rebuild you life — most likely at a time when you didn’t plan on rebuilding it. Even if you were the one who left, the reality of starting over may be a lot more difficult than you imagined — especially when there are children involved. It’s natural to feel stuck with a sense that your life will never improve. No matter the circumstances and no matter how sad, confused, angry or hurt you are right now, there will come a day when you may look at your divorce in a different light.


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Tuesday, November 6, 2018

November 2018 Gratitude Series - A Monthlong Practice of Thanksgiving


Week 1: The Gratitude Diet: How Five Minutes a Day Can Make You a Happier, Healthier  Person

Divorce can bring about a variety of negative emotions: anger, shame, guilt, resentment regret,  and fear. But there is one practice that can combat all these feelings and shift your perspective and attitudes: Gratitude. As simple as it sounds, generating feelings of thankfulness can (and does) have real and sustainable positive impact on your life.

According , Read more . . .


Monday, October 29, 2018

Six Money Mistakes That Add Up When You’re Divorcing

Your relationship started out with feelings of love and desire. Now, as your divorcing it seems all you do is haggle over financial matters. Splitting assets becomes symbolic and can create feelings of resentment, even hatred, as the once loving relationship dissolves into an accounting of who gets what.


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Tuesday, October 23, 2018

For the Children: The Nine Most Important Messages Your Kids Need to Hear

The big fear for most divorcing parents is, “What will it do to the children?” This fear often keeps couples together long after the marriage is over. It’s a natural instinct to want to protect children from harm. But no matter how spectacular your parenting skills, human psychology demonstrates that in the course of their emotional development, children will become disillusioned, even emotionally wounded. Famed psychologist Carl Jung called this “necessary suffering” and noted that it was integral to human maturation. Simply put: The child’s idea of how his or her life would play out and reality do not match up.


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Monday, October 15, 2018

For Love and Money: Five Ways Financial Habits May Contribute to Your Divorce

For more than one-third of couples who split, attitudes about money are at the root of their discontent, according to a survey conducted by SunTrust Bank. Other factors may compound the problem, but the distinct differences in the way you and your spouse think about and handle money are often the underlying reason for a marriage’s problems.


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Monday, October 8, 2018

How “Good” Is Your Divorce?

Take this quiz and measure your ex-success

Divorce legally severs ties, but often (especially when there are children) your relationship with your ex continues on well after the ink has dried on your divorce papers. Just because you had a terrible marriage, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good divorce. In fact, with the right perspective, divorce can be a new beginning for how you relate to the person to whom you were previously married.

Mediator Sam Margulies, Ph.D. and author of Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce: How to Divorce with Grace, a Little Class and a Lot of Common Sense, helps couples revision their post-divorce relationships. “Because divorce is generally regarded as regrettable and socially undesirable, we tend to think of all divorce as bad and destructive,” he writes in an article for Psychology Today. “Just as there is bad divorce characterized by mutual self defeat, there is also successful divorce in which a couple has successfully negotiated a post-divorce arrangement that leaves both partners as well a s their children able to adapt to their new lives.”

Margulies contends there are seven core areas to work on when your goal is “good” divorce. How does your split stack up? Take this quiz and find out.

1. How much emotional closure do you and your ex really have?


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Monday, October 1, 2018

Time for a Divorce Tune-Up?

An annual check-in with your attorney may give you peace of mind

Your divorce is final, and you’re ready to move onto your new life. But don’t delete your family law attorney’s contact information from your phone just yet.


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Monday, September 10, 2018

Could the “Nest” be Best?: Another Take on Shared Custody

Some divorcing parents are taking a tip from the robins and the sparrows. Rather than shuttling their kiddos from Mom’s house to Dad’s, they are allowing the kids to remain in the family home while they “fly” in and out. This out-of-the-box option is aptly named “bird nesting.”


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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

School Daze: Planning Ahead Can Help Unify Your Divided Home

Your kids may have new clothes, sneakers, book bags, pencils and pens, but as they head back to the classroom, do they have everything they need to succeed? If you’re divorced or divorcing and have shared custody, that school list may extend beyond supplies to some practice strategies.

Heather Locus, certified divorce finance advisor and author of The Next Chapter – A Practical Roadmap for Successfully Navigating Through, and Beyond, Divorce, suggests using this time to “reset expectations, goals and boundaries.”  The new school year can be the perfect time to renew your shared commitment to your children and bridge any previous communication gaps, says Locus in a recent article for Forbes magazine.


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Monday, August 27, 2018

Could Your College Degree Contribute to Your Divorce?

Experts reveal that student loan debt may cause splits

Although there are many reasons why couples divorce, money is one of the common stressors that cause problems in relationships. Debt is a major contributor to that stress. For younger couples, that debt stress frequently comes from one source in particular: Student loans. On average, college grads matriculate with a diploma and $37,000 in loan debt.


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Monday, August 20, 2018

New Study: Divorced Single Women May Not be Impacted at Retirement Time

When it comes to the financial aspects of divorce, parting ways and splitting assets often means a change in lifestyle. Divorce can also have long-reaching implications when it comes time for retirement. But a new study from the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College (CRR) indicates that divorcees who remain single may not feel the sting.


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