Share

Birmingham AL Collaborative Divorce Law Blog

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Making a Tough Decision? How to Overcome Your Fears for a Happier New Year

Every day, we make choices. We pick Netflix or Hulu, paper or plastic, diet or caffeine-free. As consumers we constantly make choices to suit our needs. But when it comes to ending relationships, decision-making becomes much harder.

Ultimately, when choosing whether to remain in an unhappy relationship or take steps to leave, it’s important to determine whether you are making the choice out of a sense of love (for yourself, your children, even your spouse), or out of a sense of fear.


Read more . . .


Monday, December 17, 2018

What to Buy Your The Ex On Your List? Holiday Gifting Do’s & Don’ts

The holiday season is a time for giving. But sometimes divorce can leave you feeling like a Scrooge with plenty of “ba-hum-bug” to go around. If glad tidings of peace, love and joy move you to be generous towards your ex, there’s no reason not to include him or her on your gift list. Just keep in mind these gifting do’s and don’ts from The Good Men Project blogger Sinta Ebersohn:


Read more . . .


Tuesday, December 11, 2018

No Holiday from Your Ex-In-Laws? Four Strategies for Happier Holidays

Your divorce is final. You’re moving on with your lives. Your kids have adjusted to the new routine. But divorce doesn’t just involve your immediate family. Typically, there are family members on both sides of the split who may not come into consideration until ... the holidays roll around.

Not sure how to manage your ex-in-laws this holiday season? If they’ve always been Scrooges, chances are they haven’t come to terms with the Ghost of Christmas Past yet. People can and do change, but it may be more productive to accept that things will not be different this year. “Setting realistic expectations is the key to not getting frustrated or angry with your partner’s family. says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., relationship therapist and author. “It’s inevitable that there will be differences and disagreements, but don’t try to change them or assume that things will be different this year.”


Read more . . .


Monday, December 3, 2018

Create New Traditions and Reclaim the Holiday After Divorce


The first holiday seasons you spend as a divorced person can be difficult. Expectations steeped in decades of tradition may make you feel like you are the odd man (or woman) out. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Embracing the change that comes with divorce rather than mourning the loss can help you move forward in all aspects of your life and be grateful for what you have -- rather than regret what you don’t.

The holidays are the perfect a time to reclaim your independence and set new precedents.
Read more . . .


Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Gratitude Series Part 3: Seven Ways to Give Your Kids the Greatest Gift

During the holiday season, we often stop and count our blessings or give thanks for the good things in our lives. Especially in challenging times, a tradition of gratitude can sustain us through the difficulties. If you’ve been through divorce — or are going through one now — teaching gratitude practices to your children may be the last thing that comes to your mind.


Read more . . .


Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Gratitude Series Week 2: Better Off Now: Six Ways to be Grateful After Divorce

When you divorce, it’s often hard to see the good in anything. Even when you know it’s “for the best” in the long-run, losing your most intimate relationship shifts the ground under your feet. If your spouse is the one who initiated the split, you may have to rebuild you life — most likely at a time when you didn’t plan on rebuilding it. Even if you were the one who left, the reality of starting over may be a lot more difficult than you imagined — especially when there are children involved. It’s natural to feel stuck with a sense that your life will never improve. No matter the circumstances and no matter how sad, confused, angry or hurt you are right now, there will come a day when you may look at your divorce in a different light.


Read more . . .


Tuesday, November 6, 2018

November 2018 Gratitude Series - A Monthlong Practice of Thanksgiving


Week 1: The Gratitude Diet: How Five Minutes a Day Can Make You a Happier, Healthier  Person

Divorce can bring about a variety of negative emotions: anger, shame, guilt, resentment regret,  and fear. But there is one practice that can combat all these feelings and shift your perspective and attitudes: Gratitude. As simple as it sounds, generating feelings of thankfulness can (and does) have real and sustainable positive impact on your life.

According , Read more . . .


Monday, October 29, 2018

Six Money Mistakes That Add Up When You’re Divorcing

Your relationship started out with feelings of love and desire. Now, as your divorcing it seems all you do is haggle over financial matters. Splitting assets becomes symbolic and can create feelings of resentment, even hatred, as the once loving relationship dissolves into an accounting of who gets what.


Read more . . .


Tuesday, October 23, 2018

For the Children: The Nine Most Important Messages Your Kids Need to Hear

The big fear for most divorcing parents is, “What will it do to the children?” This fear often keeps couples together long after the marriage is over. It’s a natural instinct to want to protect children from harm. But no matter how spectacular your parenting skills, human psychology demonstrates that in the course of their emotional development, children will become disillusioned, even emotionally wounded. Famed psychologist Carl Jung called this “necessary suffering” and noted that it was integral to human maturation. Simply put: The child’s idea of how his or her life would play out and reality do not match up.


Read more . . .


Monday, October 15, 2018

For Love and Money: Five Ways Financial Habits May Contribute to Your Divorce

For more than one-third of couples who split, attitudes about money are at the root of their discontent, according to a survey conducted by SunTrust Bank. Other factors may compound the problem, but the distinct differences in the way you and your spouse think about and handle money are often the underlying reason for a marriage’s problems.


Read more . . .


Monday, October 8, 2018

How “Good” Is Your Divorce?

Take this quiz and measure your ex-success

Divorce legally severs ties, but often (especially when there are children) your relationship with your ex continues on well after the ink has dried on your divorce papers. Just because you had a terrible marriage, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good divorce. In fact, with the right perspective, divorce can be a new beginning for how you relate to the person to whom you were previously married.

Mediator Sam Margulies, Ph.D. and author of Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce: How to Divorce with Grace, a Little Class and a Lot of Common Sense, helps couples revision their post-divorce relationships. “Because divorce is generally regarded as regrettable and socially undesirable, we tend to think of all divorce as bad and destructive,” he writes in an article for Psychology Today. “Just as there is bad divorce characterized by mutual self defeat, there is also successful divorce in which a couple has successfully negotiated a post-divorce arrangement that leaves both partners as well a s their children able to adapt to their new lives.”

Margulies contends there are seven core areas to work on when your goal is “good” divorce. How does your split stack up? Take this quiz and find out.

1. How much emotional closure do you and your ex really have?


Read more . . .


Archived Posts

2019
2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
2016
2014
2013
2011



© 2019 Nolan Byers P.C. | Disclaimer
301 19th Street North, Birmingham, AL 35203
| Phone: 205.314.0638

FAQs | Resources | Attorneys | Services | Process Options

Law Firm Website Design by
Zola Creative