Birmingham AL Collaborative Divorce Law Blog

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

All round the world, the pandemic hit the reset button for how we do business and communicate. The reality check brought about by 2020’s swift and uncertain changes also left…

The Pandemic & Relationships: How Men are Impacted Emotionally by COVID

Even as social distancing and safety restrictions loosen, the fall-out of the global pandemic is far from over. In fact, when it comes to men and mental health, it may…

Doing Your Due Diligence: Five Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Divorce Attorney

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

The writing is on the wall. You and your spouse are calling it quits. Perhaps you already know a family law attorney who you can retain to handle your divorce…

How to Say Good-Bye: Create this Separation Ritual to Find Closure

We spend months, even years, planning weddings and commitment ceremonies? But when a marriage ends and a couple parts ways, divorce often feels swept under the rug. Suddenly, the years…

Ready to date again? Consider your starting-over style

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

The ink isn’t dry on the page of your divorce decree, but you think you’re ready to move on. How do you know if the time is right for romance…

Starting Over: Four Ways to Create Your Post-Divorce Life

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Ending a relationship can feel like a huge loss, but there is much to be gained from making a new start. And although it is healthy and advisable to go…

New Year, New You: 10 Resolutions for the Soon-to-be-Divorced and Newly Single

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Ready for a new start? Although you can set intentions or make resolutions at any time, the beginning of a new year is a perfect opportunity to assess where you…

How to Take the Bully By the Horns: Three Strategies To Disarm the Drama

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Divorce is difficult enough when both parties play fair and try to come to an amicable closure. But when your soon-to-be ex is a bully, an already stressful situation can…

Tis’ the Season: Seven Steps to Forgiveness

As you head into the holiday season, you may be confronted with some unresolved business – namely interacting with people for whom you feel resentment. Divorce can create a lot…

Post-Divorce Holiday Solutions: Keep in Mind Pandemic Plans

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

When you’re newly divorced one of the more difficult obstacles to traverse can be the holidays. Particularly if you have children and holiday traditions they count upon, the happiest time…

Battlefield or Playground? Transforming conflict into self-knowledge

You cringe every time his fork scrapes the plate. You’ve stopped counting the number of Amazon packages that arrive for her each week. She talks too loud on the phone.…

Happiness is a Choice: Ten Ways to Work with Difficult Emotions Before, During and After Divorce

Trying to reconcile the demise of your marriage? When happiness seems distant, take a tip from President Abraham Lincoln who said, “Most people are about as happy as they make…

Finding Perspective When Diagnosis Leads to Divorce

When Victoria was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer, her husband, Phil, was right there at her side. Two years later, after a double mastectomy and targeted chemo…

How to Know When It’s Time to Divorce: Four Harbingers of Bad Marriage

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Every relationship — whether it be friendship, parent-child, siblings, or marriage — runs into snags from time to time. In our most intimate relationships, the stakes are higher. When we…

Grey Divorce When Your Children Are Grown: Five Important Considerations

Couples often stay together for the sake of the children. But what happens when you divorce after your kids are grown — with children of their own? According to therapist…

Silver Linings for Gray Divorce: Five Ways to Gain New Perspective When Starting Over after 50

For most adults in their 20s and 30s, marriage (and children) seem the next step into adulthood. But what about life on the other side? Often couples discover that once…

Divorce Your Debt: Four Ways to Improve Your Credit Before You Call It Quits

When was the last time you checked your credit rating? Many people heading towards divorce do not fully consider the financial implications of parting ways. Before you undo your marriage,…

Digital Divorce: Five Steps to End Your Tech Connection

When a couple splits, there’s usually a division of property, assets, and child custody. But there’s another important piece of mutual property that should be disentangled: Your digital holdings. If…

How To Transform Conflict – Part 2

Conflict begins with fear. When you feel threatened, you pick a side — a desire, belief, objective, tangible goal or attainment — that opposes the desires, beliefs or objectives of another…

Feeling the Stress of Sheltering in Place? Four ways to know if your marriage is healthy or ailing

Jesse and Barb* had been married for 34 years, raised three sons together and enjoyed seeing their grandchildren on a regular basis. But as a duo-income couple, prior to the…

How To Transform Conflict – Part 1

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

As a global peace negotiator, John Paul Lederach uses four principles that bring about what he calls “conflict transformation”. His approach is to use conflict to create real and lasting…

Spring Forward: Now’s a Good Time to Prepare for Divorce

If you’re thinking of divorce, it may feel that the COVID-19 crisis is a roadblock to starting a new life, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Now is…

Want to Keep Your Divorce on Track? Take this Quiz to Find Out If An Alternative to Traditional Court Litigation Could Work for You

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

In an instant, COVID-19 seems to have changed everything. It can be challenging to determine how best to proceed with important decisions in your life while also social distancing. The…

The Top Reasons Why Marriages End in Divorce, According to Divorce Attorneys

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Why do marriages break up? What causes couples to decide to go their separate ways? Although the reasons vary and explanations are seldom simple, recent research suggests there are some…

Seeking a Divorce and Hiring a Divorce Lawyer? Questions You Should Answer First

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

By now, any married couple – or couple contemplating marriage – has heard the oft-quoted statistic that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Whether or not that statistic…

A Judge Shares Words of Wisdom for Child Custody Disputes

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Child custody disputes can be very difficult for everyone involved – especially the children. You can imagine the pain of having two parents go through a tough and troubling time…

Finding the Silver Lining: How to Transform Divorce into Your Next Succes

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

If fresh, new beginnings aren’t what comes to mind when you think about your divorce, think again. As difficult as uncoupling can be, you might just be on your way…

Friend Me – How to reclaim relationships during and after divorce

For many couples, divorcing can also mean a shift in relationships with mutual friends. Ironically, just at a time when you need friends, you may find yourself lacking support. Retaining…

Co-Parenting Goes Mobile: Six apps to keep your busy family harmonious after divorce

Mobile technology has transformed the way we communicate – especially for divorced parents. Not only does sending a text or email make it easier than ever to document communication between…

Don’t Leave Your Marriage Without Telling Your Spouse: Tips for Breaking Up

Often couples know their relationship is troubled. They argue, fuss, and fight over the most trivial concerns, and someone ends up sleeping on the sofa. Maybe they decide to go…

Moving On: How to Let Go of Anger

Whether you’ve been disappointed, betrayed or shamed, feeling rage —or even hatred —towards your ex is a normal response. It may serve as a catharsis for pent up emotions. Or,…

Blind-Sided by a Break-up? Seven Ways to Take Charge of Your Life

When one partner suddenly calls it quits, the realization that your relationship is over can be traumatic. At times it may feel like you’ll never be happy again, or at…

When Partners Part: Important Steps to Take When Ending a Domestic Partnership

Once upon a time, it was socially unacceptable for couples to live together outside the bonds of marriage. Sure, back in the day people still “shacked up,” but it was…

Is it Time for a Marital Detox? Five Signs Your Relationship Needs Help

We’re concerned about toxins in the air and in our food, but the toxins in our relationships can be just as detrimental to our mental, physical and spiritual health. Unfortunately,…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & PROTECTION FROM ABUSE IN ALABAMA

Domestic violence is an act that, like skipping stones into a pond, leaves ripples in its wake. Regrettably, what’s left behind isn’t just a puddle of water; it leaves damage…

Worth A Thousand Words – A family photo goes viral as it recasts divorce stereotypes

There’s a photo on Facebook that’s becoming famous. It depicts a beautiful Mom and a handsome Dad and a cute little boy. They sit close together, grinning from ear to…

Holiday Series Part 2: Divorced with Kids? It’s Time to Santa-Up!

Although it’s the season to be jolly, some divorced couples with children may find themselves saying, “Ba-hum-bug!” as the realities of shared custody set in. Just because you can’t celebrate…

‘Tis the Season: Five Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Despite Divorce

Memories of Christmas’ past can be haunting. If you’re divorcing or divorced, the season can become an emotional minefield — especially if your split is contentious. And if you have…

Taxing Matters – How Uncle Same Weighs in On Divorce

The end of a marriage brings about many changes in your life. One you may not have considered is how divorce will affect the way you file your annual income…

Divorce and Money – Where to find help when making financial decisions

Let’s face it, money — or the lack thereof — is one of life’s most frequent stressors. In a recent survey by the accounting firm PriceWaterhouse Cooper (PwC), more than…

In Sickness and in Health: Can Insurance Coverage Outlast Your Vows?

You took a vow to remain united in sickness and in health, but lately that vow may be tested in a new way. For thousands of couples considering divorce, those…

Time to Talk – Three Easy Steps for Sharing Your Divorce News

The “d-word”. Some people are reluctant to use the term — even when they are about to file for it. It’s understandable. Saying “divorce” out loud makes it real. And even…

Is Mid-Life Crisis to Blame for Your Breakup? Explore these three factors before you file for divorce

One thing in life is constant: change. How we embrace change —or resist it — can dictate how happy we are at any stage of life. One of the biggest…

Overcoming the Blues After Gray Divorce

For almost a decade, researchers at the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University have tracked the growth of “grey” divorce (marriages ending after age 50).…

ENDING OR BEGINNING?

Starting over in the second half of life often takes a leap of faith and a shift in perspective… The kids are grown. The nest is empty. Careers are winding…

When Should I Talk to An Attorney

Taking action doesn’t have to signal divorce. It means taking charge of your life. For most people, divorce is a difficult decision that comes after a period (often years, even…

Summertime Blues? Why Thoughts of Divorce May Rise with the Temperature

Summer in Alabama is known for its heat, but the rise in mercury may also signal another form of meltdown. According to researchers at the University of Washington, August is…

For Better or Worse? Studies show your personal wellness is directly linked to the health of your marriage

Why are people so drawn to saying I do? All romance aside, there may be practical reasons why humans commit to relationships. Hundreds of studies have been conducted on the…

End of the Line for Divorce Shame

Reentry after a divorce can be a shock to the system as you learn to navigate life as a single person again. But one of the most difficult aspects of…

When Love Goes Wrong: Codependency Defined

For many divorcing couples, “irreconcilable differences” is the reason they give on their divorce papers. And whereas that’s technically correct, the true causes and conditions for divorce are probably much…

Vacationing Post-Divorce: It’s About the Journey Not the Destination

As you move beyond divorce, you may find yourself faced with a series of firsts. Celebrating your first birthday, first Christmas, or first vacation as a newly single person is…

Do the Math: Important Financial Information to Gather Before You Decide to Divorce

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce

Divorce rarely happens overnight, but people are seldom prepared. Even if you consider the emotional and social aspects of divorce, you may not give much thought to the financial fall-out.…

Make Your Ex Your Ally: 10 Considerations to Embrace When You Have Kids

Studies show that improper handling of post-divorce life is what most adversely impacts children. But Texas psychologist and author Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., has a radical solution for how to approach…

Getting to the Heart of the Matter: Five Essential Steps Women Should Take to Safeguard Health During Divorce

Collaborative Divorce

Those who have been through divorce often say it feels like their hearts were breaking. In truth, the emotional aspects of divorce can bring on physical manifestations that may lead…

I’m Divorced. Now What? Five Essential Steps to Take:

You’ve met with your attorney, filed for divorce, hashed things out with your ex, divvied up your assets. At long last, the day has arrived when a judge declares you…

Applying for Your Child’s Passport After Divorce? Plan Ahead

If you’re divorced and planning a big vacation with your kids outside the U.S. there’s one crucial detail to remember: Apply for their passports ASAP. All children — even newborns…

Take Charge of Your Change: Five Easy Ways to Cut Expenses and Jump-Start Savings After Divorce

Creating a budget is one of the first empowering steps when parting ways from your spouse. But once you ascertain your financial footing, then what? For many people, getting a…

The Post-Divorce Budget: Taking the first step to financial freedom

There are many aspects of divorce that can be hard to predict or control —such as the emotional fallout, how your kids will respond, or the impact on your extended…

What’s in a Name? How to Reclaim Your Identity After Divorce

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Your divorce is final. Although your divorce agreement provides an accounting of who gets what, for women, there’s an asset that remains unresolved: Your name. How and when you decide…

How to Have a Loving Relationship with … Money: Rethinking your finances after divorce.

Divorce can open your eyes to many realities. Beyond considering future romantic relationships, you may realize a need to re-evaluate your feelings about financial matters. And it’s probably about time.…

How to Tell the World You’re Through: Five Tips from the Stars

One of the hardest parts of divorcing can be breaking the news to your family, friends and colleagues. No matter how eminent the ending, telling your nearest and dearest that…

The Truth Behind the Cheating Heart: Four insights into infidelity

Cheating is one of the top reasons couples divorce. The loss of trust can be impossible to restore. In fact, the pain of realizing a partner’s unfaithfulness is said to…

Emerging from the Time Capsule: Five Tips for Post-Divorce Dating

If the last time you went on a first date was more than 15 years ago, brace yourself. “Being married is a little like being in a time capsule,” writes…

She Loves You, She Loves You Not: Six Strategies to Fall Out of Love

Divorce Mediation

You may have fallen in love “at first sight” but when you’ve loved someone for years (or decades), it may require a lengthier process and a conscious effort to leave…

My Funny Valentine: A little humor can save the day

When you’re divorced (or going through the process), you’re bound to hit some difficult milestones. There’s the anniversary of your first date, the day he proposed, your wedding anniversary, etc.…

Six Reasons Why Women Are Happier After Divorce (And What Men Can Learn From Them)

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

When you’re going through a divorce it’s often hard to imagine ever feeling happy again. The very thought of starting over can be daunting. But if you’re in an unhealthy…

What I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Divorce: 7 Insights to Consider

Hindsight is 20-20 as the saying goes. When it comes to ending a marriage, a little foresight would go a long way to making smarter, more rational decisions. Although every…

The Right Way to Divorce: Four Principles for a Harmonious Uncoupling

All too often divorcing couples create a lot of drama and discourse. Emotions run high and it’s easy to get carried away when your heart is broken and you feel…

Happy Divorce Day? Five Initial Steps in the Process of Divorce

For many unhappy couples who make it through the gauntlet of winter holidays, the first Monday after New Year’s marks an unofficial annual observation: Divorce Day. A British survey showed…

Making a Tough Decision? How to Overcome Your Fears for a Happier New Year

Every day, we make choices. We pick Netflix or Hulu, paper or plastic, diet or caffeine-free. As consumers we constantly make choices to suit our needs. But when it comes…

What to Buy The Ex On Your List? Holiday Gifting Do’s & Don’ts

The holiday season is a time for giving. But sometimes divorce can leave you feeling like a Scrooge with plenty of “ba-hum-bug” to go around. If glad tidings of peace,…

No Holiday from Your Ex-In-Laws? Four Strategies for Happier Holidays

Your divorce is final. You’re moving on with your lives. Your kids have adjusted to the new routine. But divorce doesn’t just involve your immediate family. Typically, there are family…

Create New Traditions and Reclaim the Holiday After Divorce

The first holiday seasons you spend as a divorced person can be difficult. Expectations steeped in decades of tradition may make you feel like you are the odd man (or…

Gratitude Series Part 3: Seven Ways to Give Your Kids the Greatest Gift

Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

During the holiday season, we often stop and count our blessings or give thanks for the good things in our lives. Especially in challenging times, a tradition of gratitude can…

Gratitude Series Week 2: Better Off Now: Six Ways to be Grateful After Divorce

When you divorce, it’s often hard to see the good in anything. Even when you know it’s “for the best” in the long-run, losing your most intimate relationship shifts the…

November 2018 Gratitude Series – A Monthlong Practice of Thanksgiving

Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Week 1: The Gratitude Diet: How Five Minutes a Day Can Make You a Happier, Healthier Person Divorce can bring about a variety of negative emotions: anger, shame, guilt, resentment…

Six Money Mistakes That Add Up When You’re Divorcing

Your relationship started out with feelings of love and desire. Now, as your divorcing it seems all you do is haggle over financial matters. Splitting assets becomes symbolic and can…

For the Children: The Nine Most Important Messages Your Kids Need to Hear

The big fear for most divorcing parents is, “What will it do to the children?” This fear often keeps couples together long after the marriage is over. It’s a natural…

For Love and Money: Five Ways Financial Habits May Contribute to Your Divorce

Divorce Mediation

For more than one-third of couples who split, attitudes about money are at the root of their discontent, according to a survey conducted by SunTrust Bank. Other factors may compound the…

How “Good” Is Your Divorce?

Take this quiz and measure your ex-success Divorce legally severs ties, but often (especially when there are children) your relationship with your ex continues on well after the ink has…

Time for a Divorce Tune-Up?

An annual check-in with your attorney may give you peace of mind Your divorce is final, and you’re ready to move onto your new life. But don’t delete your family…

Could the “Nest” be Best?: Another Take on Shared Custody

Child Custody

Some divorcing parents are taking a tip from the robins and the sparrows. Rather than shuttling their kiddos from Mom’s house to Dad’s, they are allowing the kids to remain…

School Daze: Planning Ahead Can Help Unify Your Divided Home

Your kids may have new clothes, sneakers, book bags, pencils and pens, but as they head back to the classroom, do they have everything they need to succeed? If you’re…

Could Your College Degree Contribute to Your Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Experts reveal that student loan debt may cause splits Although there are many reasons why couples divorce, money is one of the common stressors that cause problems in relationships. Debt…

New Study: Divorced Single Women May Not be Impacted at Retirement Time

When it comes to the financial aspects of divorce, parting ways and splitting assets often means a change in lifestyle. Divorce can also have long-reaching implications when it comes time…

Stop the Break-up Yo Yo: Three Ways to Know if You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship Pattern

You love him. You love him not. You can’t live without her … but you can’t live with her either. For a variety of reasons, many couples become stuck in…

Save the Date: Should the 2019 Tax Law Influence When You Divorce?

If you’re considering ending your marriage there may be incentive to follow through on those plans sooner rather than later. For men and women who will be paying alimony under…

Can You Have A Good Divorce? Two Strategies for a Positive Approach

If the phrase “good divorce” seems a contradiction in terms, think again. Yes, it’s easy to become enmeshed in a competitive mentality, or overwhelmed with feelings of betrayal and resentment,…

Don’t Let Divorce Overwhelm You: Four Ways to Find Relief

Divorce at any time in life is difficult. Splitting up comes with complications and anxieties. Even if you initiated the divorce and feel ending your marriage is “for the best”…

Not Guilty: Four Ways End the Self-Blame Game

Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda. These are three phrases that can haunt us for decades after any decision, great or small. For many people who divorce, feelings of regret and guilt can…

How to Consider Your Divorce a Success

Here’s a radical thought: Just because your marriage failed doesn’t mean it was a failure. Reframing the way you think about your divorce, can be a game-changer. First, however, experts…

How to Heal After Divorce, No Passport Required

If you’re looking for a summer read, one of the best post-divorce books is Eat. Pray. Love. a work of non-fiction by Elizabeth Gilbert. The story is based on her personal experiences…

If It Ain’t Broke, Fix It Now: Four Divorce Insights For Happy Couples

When a couple is getting along (or if they’re ignoring problems) it’s easy to set aside important aspects of the marital partnership. Divorce proceedings illuminate a host of practical issues…

Baby Boomers Drive Divorce Trend

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Move over Gen X’ers and Millennials, the Greatest Generation has outdone you again. According to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, a nonpartisan fact tank, at a time when divorce…

Divorce & Children: How Toxic Relationships Cause Harm

Sitting in her therapist’s office, Birmingham mom Janet* choked back a sob, “I am so unhappy in my marriage, but I don’t want to hurt our children!” Janet’s therapist smiled…

Can You Take a Vacation from Divorce?

Child Custody, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

With summer almost here, divorced couples with children will once again be doing the shared custody dance. As the established school schedule melts away quicker than an Eskimo Pie in…

Five Reasons Why Divorce is Difficult and How to Get Through the Tough Times

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

There is no denying that going through a divorce is one of the most difficult and stressful events you can encounter. The process can be draining emotionally, physically, spiritually and…

Good Grief: Five Steps for Acknowledging Loss

You longed for the day when your divorce would be final. Now that day has come, but you don’t feel like celebrating. Even when it is the healthiest resolution for…

What Can You Learn From Divorce?

Just because your marriage didn’t “work out” doesn’t mean it’s been a total loss. Quite the contrary. It’s natural to have feelings of regret, shame, and sadness when your dream…

Divorce-o-Meter: Four Signs That Your Marriage Might Be Over

Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

Geologists and meteorologists can predict natural disasters by studying environmental causes and conditions. Why not take a scientific approach to the melt-down of marriage? As it turns out, social scientists…

Financial Wake Up Call for Women: It’s Time to Learn About Money Management

In generations past, traditional gender roles often ruled when making financial decisions. Men managed the money, managed investments and savings, and held the credit. This may sound arcane by today’s…

Considering Divorce? Three Reasons to Take a Facebook Break

Social media can be a wonderful way to communicate with family and friends. But if you’re unhappy in your relationship, it can deepen your discontentment and may even lead to…

Would You Pass China’s Divorce Test?

Collaborative Divorce

Could divorcing couples in the U.S. learn something from their peers in China? Perhaps. Recently, Xi’an’s Weiyang district have instituted a mandatory divorce test that couples must take before before being granted divorce papers…

Reality Check: Five Questions to Ask BEFORE Filing for a Divorce

Divorce Mediation

On television and in the movies, when a couple decides to divorce they typically feud and fight, divvy up their assets, and make a fresh start. Real life divorce is…

Conscious Uncoupling

Could Your Ex Be Your Greatest Teacher? If your marriage is over, is that really “bad”? Could there be “good” in divorce? Before you pass a judgment on yourself and…

Divorce Support Groups

Is a Divorce Support Group Right for You? There are boot camps for getting back into physical shape. Why not a camp for people going through divorce and trying to…

Is it Time for a Marital Detox? Five Signs Your Relationship Needs Help

We’re concerned about toxins in the air and in our food, but the toxins in our relationships can be just as detrimental to our mental, physical and spiritual health. Unfortunately,…

Avoiding the Slings and Arrows of Valentine’s Day

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

The day of hearts and roses is approaching. If you’re divorced or headed in that direction, re-envisioning the way you consider this Hallmark holiday could save you a lot of…

Five Steps To Finding Your Ideal Divorce Attorney

Hiring a divorce attorney is a process that most people aren’t prepared for until they are faced with the task. Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events, and making…

Taxing Matters: Reform Means Future Change for Divorced Couples

Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law Matters

When you’re going through a divorce, one of the last things you probably consider is how it will impact your annual income tax. But understanding the basic tax consequences can…

Preparing to Divorce? Don’t Play “I Spy”

Preparing to Divorce? Don’t Play “I Spy” With the increase in accessibility of GPS technology, Spyware and other apps, you know longer need special spy equipment or to hire a…

New Year, New Life?